Friday, October 9, 2009

Something HORRIBLE has happened!

I've tried to ignore this thing...
I've prayed that it was just a cruel joke...
...but I can't live in the valley of denial any longer.
My Fruit Loopy, Free Flying Idol-Katy Perry- is dating the Un-Funny, Bottom Feeder, russell brand(I refuse to capitalize his name since I don't consider him human).
They met at the MTV Awards where she made an AMAZING intro for him(YES! That was HIM hosting and RUINING the show TWO years in a row!!), and then went on a WEEK LONG vacation in Thailand together!
Here's a news clipping on the tragedy:
Morrissey is typically associated with unrequited love or heartbreak, but that's not the case for new couple Katy Perry and russell brand.
Britain's 'The Sun' reports the two have started dating, and have picked Morrissey's "Whatever Happens, I Love You" as their song.
WATCH OUT, Katy! IT's behind you!!!
AND-Katy recently tweeted -“Been in a love k-hole."
(FYI-That's a reference to Ketamine-which can cause dissociation)
Look at her! She's TERRIFIED!! Run, Katy! His exposed chest hair will surely slow his wind resistance making your escape easier!!
Brand and Perry are currently on vacation in Paris, France, where they recently visited Jim Morrison's grave.
Even Morrison in his current state would be a better choice than Bland Brand!
...this PHOTO of Andy Samberg would be a better choice than Bland!
Hayley from 'Paramore' would be a better choice than Bland!
Even THIS guy would be a better choice!(or maybe that's Lady GaGa...)
THIS little CUTIE would be a WAY better choice!
Drop Bland, Katy!! Do it for your kittle- Kitty Purry!
Do it for Miley!
Do it...for JASMINE! Look at her! She's distraught!...and so is the penguin!!
And-England, I think you owe me an apology for letting him out of his cage!
I a Texan, I apologize for George Bush(the public school system really failed him...)
It's the only kosher thing to do!
AND KATY, He's NO Jim!!
Never settle for less than your Jim!

Are you with your Jim(or Pam for the gents!) or are you still searching for him/her in every 'Barnes and Noble' or 'Starbucks' from here to the Mason Dixon Line?!


lightning in a bottle said...

misssssss-maaaaaatch! that russell brand is grodey! she can do SO much better. hope she trades up on the next one.

sorry to hear about your girl, sweetie.

Jessica said...

Hmm, I don't know who that russell guy is but he does seem a little possessive in the pics.

In fact, my husband's name is Jimmy, so my search has ended. :-)

Brigitte Dionne said...

He looks like she just picked him up from a male strip club!

"Heeeeeerrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee's brand-ey!"

oh my god.

I feel for you, Penny!
I have lost all my respects for her.
This must be a joke.
I - I - I'm baffled.
*hides in corner*

The Fancy Lady said...

ugh! thats horrible hes so gross and annoying i don't think we should blame england i mean even they hate him hegot exiled and somehow we got stuck with him kinda like david beckham lol as for my jim i don't really know if i have found mine lol

Mariah Irvin said...


That is all I have to say.

The Fancy Lady said...

oh and check out my post today is especially for you!

Sarah said...

oh my gosh. i heard about his and immediately thought of you. haha.
he's such a sceeze.

Midtown Girl said...

I was wondering what you thought about Katy's new first I thought it was a joke...unfort it was not!

Have an award for you darling!


Ali said...

Oh, little Pen Pen...I have a feeling you're going to disown me as a blogger friend when you read what I'm about to say. But I gotta be honest.

The two of them together makes sense to me. Wait! Don't hit me yet. It's just that I see them together since they're so eccentric and I imagine Ms. Perry likes her men...kinda girly because she's...kinda girly. Haha, I don't know. I just think it works. But we shall see!

Don't hate me?

Pen Pen said...

lightning- The official mourning period is over and I've moved into the anger phase. But- Jasmine and I are focusing all of our thoughts to try to help her by putting happy vibes in the world!
I seriously don't have any words for that man...the first pic on the blog just says SO much more than I ever could.
Jessica- Well, at least now u know to stay away if u ever see him! AND-U could print out his pic if you have any daughters to serve as a "no go" sample of potential suitors for them! ...much like the FBI's ten most wanted list! :)
ANd- U hubbys name is Jimmy?! It's perfect then! I SALUTE you on an excellent choice!! :)
We ALL need to run from him!!
...and I think we should put him on the ten most wanted list! He can be Number 3-right after Osama Bin Laden and Jason Brown!!
ANd-We can't rush to judge Katy on this! We want to, but we must remain supportive-yet highly disapproving! She's picked druggy losers before-but that was before she really "broke out". I hope she's not gonna take the decision lightly to get married just cuz it's easily affordable! Mo Money-Mo Problems!! :)
Ur right! England invented the Beatles and Harry Potter! It's a nation of fabulous!! :)
I think that's his middle name!!
Mariah- :) I know! There are NO WORDS!!
AHHH! I got my award and put it up on my blog trophy wall!! THANK YOU!!! I'll be passin that along shortly!! :)
And- Yeah-I was hoping it wasn't true. Even when I saw pics of them walking together, I was like-"No-God wouldn't let this happen!"
But....NO! Where were u on that, God?! I'm just praying there won't be a wedding!! :)
Ali- I only disown friends who DON'T tell me how they really feel! :)
And-I agree with u! They DO make sense, but I just HATE it!! I think that side of her comes out in stuff like the "muppet dress" she wore in Paris a few days ago-She just steps over the line sometimes and goes into gawdy. I luv her no matter what, but I worry about what she'll pick for a wedding dress! :)
Also- My BFF, kaylynn(who I saw yesterday!) and I got into a talk about THIS subject and she likes russel bland. I'm not a fan, but her opinion is one I appreciate. Maybe he'll turn his life around and learn to be a person or something...Well see...:)

Dutch donut girl said...

No way! He is a total creep. What does she see in that loser????

DebraLSchubert said...

This is distressing news. Somehow I've managed to block it from my sheltered reality bubble.

Katy, if you're reading this, PLEASE take Penny's words to heart. You can do so much better!!!!!!