Tuesday, June 2, 2009

White People

A friend of mine commented the other day about "race cultures"(i.e. black culture(toasted),
Latin culture(flame kissed),
Asian culture(stir fried with Kikkoman),
(right-Harold...not Kumar-who I think is Indian with the dot, not with the feather :)
and white culture(uncooked).
She mentioned that she felt there was no definitive "white people culture"...I think she was mostly sad cuz there's no "white history month" like there is a "black history month". I thought about that for a while--
White people come from many different countries with distinct cultures, so- if u think about it- "French culture"(crepe face)
and "English culture"(Tight Ass :)
(Has anyone else noticed that William is balding?! That little bad-boy ginger brother of his is gonna steal his popularity crown!)
... plus all the other countries added together probably equals what "white culture" is...I think many Latin/ Hispanic/Mexican people experience this as well- With toasted people, the majority of them come from Africa originally-but with uncooked or lightly toasted people, you could come from an assortment of countries, so it's harder to pin down a "culture" for you without bringing the original country of origin into play.
BUT-- IS there a distinctive white-American culture?! YES- though nobody would come out and say it cuz they'd risk sounding racist--AND- The fact that I'm sitting here making sure I don't say anything offensive is ONE aspect of the white American culture.

White People Love

1) Girls With Bangs-
For white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.

2)The Toyota Prius-
The Toyota Prius gets 45 miles per gallon. That’s right, you can drive 45 miles and burn only one gallon of gasoline. So somehow, through marketing or perception, the Prius lets people think that driving their car is GOOD for the environment.
Some white people decide to pull the ultimate move. Prius, Apple Sticker on the back, iPod rocking, and Democratic Candidate bumper sticker. Unstoppable!
There are a few ways you can use this to your advantage. If you are carpooling to an event or party you can always say “can we take your Prius? my car doesn’t get good mileage and I feel guilty driving it.” And bam! Free ride!
Also, if you see a white person in a Prius you can say “wow, that’s great to see that you’re doing something for the earth.” The white person will feel very good about themselves and offer to drive you home, to Ikea, or drop you off at 80s night.

3) 80s Parties-

White people cannot get enough of 80s music, partially out of nostalgia, and partially since it was the last time that pop music wasn’t infused with hip-hop or R n’ B stylings. Artists like Joy Division, New Order and Elvis Costello were all pretty well respected and had solid runs at the charts. Also, less respected artists like Wham, Rick Astley and Cameo are still easy for white people to dance to.

White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around.

Here's more things white people like: White People Like.com
Katt Williams - White Friends

I've concluded that any time you put 'American' after the first word, you have a whole new ball game(i.e. - the "Asian-American" culture is different than simply the "Asian Culture".
One of the reasons I love America is cuz we are a hodge-podge here and nobody can stop that from expanding- Even the MOST racist and "culturally exclusive" people here will probably end up with a kid who marries somebody from another race. SO many people want to keep their "original" culture identity alone, but JUST by coming here, you set the wheels in motion for that to fall apart- They're mixed puppies like us and they gotta start getting used to it! Welcome to the dark side, Puerto Rican/Antarctican-Americans! :)

Last...White Culture is pretty elusive, but there is a culture even MORE difficult to identify...
Interracial (i.e. Neopolitan)
Jessica Alba- White/Latin
I just want to spray paint flames on my new prius!

Obama- Black/White
Is it okay for me to love a good soy latte and be an awkward dancer?!

Brittany- Jewish/Latin
I love my Enchiladas with some manishevitz!

White Girl Penny Recommends: 80's throwback band, HYPERCRUSH-check out their neon, Razzle-tastic music video of 'The Arcade' HERE!

Personally, I am French(well, Cajun)/Irish/American Indian(with the feather, not the dot!)
What are YOU?!


Elizabeth Marie said...

OMFG! This is hilarious...I guess I am flame kissed, I'm going to start saying that.

Stuffwhitepeoplelike is so effing ridiculously amazing.

drollgirl said...

wow! you have white people pegged. that prius thing is cracking me up, so true! and i think prius drivers are the worst drivers on EARTH.

p.s. i am a white girl. with bangs. b-o-r-i-n-g. no prius, but a honda. i like 80's music. i can't dance. i'll leave it at that. :)

Danyelle said...

You are so talented. I love the way your pictures add depths of meaning to your words. You are also great at making me laugh. :D

Jessica said...

Sheesh. You crack me up. I gotta disagree with one thing though. I do NOT like eighties music. LOL

Midtown Girl said...

June was just officially declared by Obama as Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual month..so I think the monthly celebration opp could be in the works - LOL!

Gabbi said...

Damn Penny... :)

Lady Glamis said...

Awesome! I am uncooked, yes. I'm part Australian, part Scandinavian, and other stuff I'm not sure of, I'm certain. :)

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

I are white. There are prevailing subcultures within the white community. Especially if you've got an Italian mother...which I do :D