This feels like MATH...

I feel your pain kitten...I feel your pain.


So I'm preparing to send out query letters for my book, and I started reading info on agent's sites and other writing blogs about exactly how to do this.
I started noticing people say that they were sending queries in regular snail mail envelopes...WHAT?! Regular envelopes?! Don't you have to put your 'Query Letter' AND sample in it?! I should use envelopes that look like this?!
...Are you people crazy?! ALL the papers AND a SASE (Self Addressed Stamped Envelope) won't fit!!


Confused, I consulted agentquery.com.
They say- "We recommend mailing your query letter flat inside a bigger envelope (9 1/2 x 12 1/2). Drop in your standard sized No. 10 SASE and voilà! Everything fits perfectly, and no origami required. In addition, we highly recommend sending along the first five pages of your novel with your query letter, even if our submission guidelines only say, "query letter with SASE." Most literary agents will be happy to glance at a short sample (first 1-5 pages; no more!) of your writing included with your query letter."

"Okay!" I thought, "I'll just get a large pack of those (I'll probably end up sending about 100 queries)."

BUUUUUTTT

I looked on the 'Costco' website and DIDN'T see 9 1/2 x 12 1/2!! They have 9 1/2 x 14 1/2 (100 ct) for $40.61, but not the ones agentquery.com suggested!!

Here's the Costco envelopes

I had NO idea that this detail would be such a hassle. I mean, you want to optimize your chances of being considered by doing things the PERFECT way--Giving them EXACTLY what they want, but NO-It's got to be complicated!

This process is reminding me of math *visible cringe*, and I HATE math. I majored in Psychology and English (partially) in order to avoid things that feel like math (Tho I should really attempt to finally conquer grammar...It's a lot like math and is integral in writing--but
I have a guy who's wonderful at grammar and usually checks it for formal things).

With little patience left, I looked at Walmart.com and didn't see the envelopes there either!
...but I did find these...
...Storage Envelopes?! WTF does that mean?! ...No - Really! - What are these?! They must be for those Type A people who also measure the distance between the hangers in their closet. LAME!

I'm going to go to some stores tomorrow and see what I can find...
AND-FYI-This is the longest time I've ever spent on such an insignificant detail--EVER!

I thought about sending hate mail to agentquery.com and the others who confused the heck ou of me, but I couldn't decide which envelope to use for it...
then I saw this quote -
"Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them."

...Does this blog count as an "angry letter?"

Lesson I learned: I HATE details...and envelopes.