Friday, December 4, 2009

What shoud I be?

I've always known I wanted to be a writer, but you can't just go "be" a writer-Until you have success, you have to get a "day job". I had NO IDEA what to do. There was nothing else I wanted to be. I'm incredibly happy now that I'm going for my Psychology Masters-I didn't think I had a passion for anything else but writing. I had stumbling blocks and failures along the way, but it was all worth it. :)
Here is the piece I wrote 2 years ago. It's basically a conversation between the and my heart. It just felt better to put it on paper at the time.

Kittle Warning: Language
“speaking with a drowning heart”

Heart: "Is the pain coming from the art, or the art from the pain?!"
Penny: "The pain was definitely there before the art. It’s been here a long time."
Heart: "Then what the french is it?!"
Penny: "You think I know?! I’ve been trying to write my way through it for years."
Heart: Bullshit! You been trying to write until you find a meaning-not a strategy.
Penny: " I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth."
Heart: "Smooth... Shakespeare-ina. Smooth."
Penny: Well I did pay over 2,000 bucks a class to have those velvet words shoved down my throat.
Heart: "I’m not the one who thought college would give a clear answer!"
Penny: I just thought that at some point a clear path would emerge, but I see a million paths- A MILLION paths diverge in the wood, and I sit at the bend, doubting each choice.

When did you first know what you wanted to do as a job?


Anonymous said...

When I was in high school everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to do with their lives. I thought that was suspicious.

I'd say I worked it out about mid to late twenties.

Jessica said...

Well, I guess you do have Jasmine to think of. *snicker*

Jessica said...

Absolutely nothing. I seriously never had career goals until I started writing. Still don't. If I have to go back to work after my kids get in school, then I'll find a job I can do well and be paid reasonably for, and I'll still try to get published.
I did think being a journalist would be fun but never went to college for it.

Cute convo. There are a million paths. You're young, childless... Go explore. :-)

lotusgirl said...

I decided in high school, but I changed my mind in college several times and in the end did what I had decided in high school. Latin Teacher. In the end though I gave that up when I had kids. Now that the kids are old enough to be pretty self sufficient I write, which is something I always wanted to do. I wrote my first book in 5th grade. With pictures and fabric lined covered cardboard cover and all.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I have kept changing my mind my whole life! And I have literally stumbled on some of the jobs I've enjoyed most, like teaching.

Danyelle said...

*hearts psychology* That's awesome you're going for your masters even though the road was bumpy at times. :)

I've always wanted to be a mom. And a writer. I've always loved the sciences, particularly human biology and neurology. One day, if my stomach can stand the cadavers, I'd love to become a neurologist. :D

Anonymous said...

I've always managed to get myself into jobs which left me with enough time to do what I really want (write - which I have wanted to do since i was a kid) ... the problem with that is that thee jobs are usually extremely crappy and badly paid. Ah well. Still working on the dream though :)

Gabbi said...

I love the way you write Penny, but also that's so awesome that you've decided to pursue your career in psychology!